I constantly feel pressure (the self inflicted kind) to live up to some perceived ideal, an ideal that changes according the whim of my insecurity of the moment. I am constantly battling the “should I” and “I should haves” in my life and I very often feel like I am just barely adequate in so many areas of my life. The barely adequate daughter/worker/sister/ friend/barely adequate in my finances/home/appearance...in my life, period! You name it; I have probably felt inadequate about it at some point, if not always. Why is that? Have not totally figured that out yet. What I do know is that I have to let go of these arbitrary standards that I have constantly been trying to live up to (easier said than done). Arbitrary, in that most of the time these ideals are very much unreasonable and unsupported, I know that. But still the thoughts are there, the strain is there and the pressure is there. I need to be ok with who I am as a (whatever), even in the absence of affirmation and validation. In my struggle to do so I am reminded that I need to depend on His grace alone, and pray for guidance in the “should I” and “should haves” of my life. The greatest affirmation and validation comes from Him.