Mediocrity

I constantly feel pressure (the self inflicted kind) to live up to some perceived ideal, an ideal that changes according the whim of my insecurity of the moment. I am constantly battling the “should I” and “I should haves” in my life and I very often feel like I am just barely adequate in so many areas of my life. The barely adequate daughter/worker/sister/ friend/barely adequate in my finances/home/appearance...in my life, period! You name it; I have probably felt inadequate about it at some point, if not always. Why is that? Have not totally figured that out yet. What I do know is that I have to let go of these arbitrary standards that I have constantly been trying to live up to (easier said than done). Arbitrary, in that most of the time these ideals are very much unreasonable and unsupported, I know that. But still the thoughts are there, the strain is there and the pressure is there. I need to be ok with who I am as a (whatever), even in the absence of affirmation and validation. In my struggle to do so I am reminded that I need to depend on His grace alone, and pray for guidance in the “should I” and “should haves” of my life. The greatest affirmation and validation comes from Him.

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

No Matter Where I Am

“I'll praise You in this storm And I will lift my hands For You are who You are
No matter where I am Every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.”
Casting Crowns

Life does not always play out the way I think or hope that it should, the way that I pray that it will. Sometimes I am elated in life and then something happens that quickly depletes me and makes it harder to find the joy. I’m thrown from the mountaintop into the valley and all “normalcy” simple escapes me. All the things that I cling to in my daily life…like peace, patience, and control over my emotions, forgiveness, love and understanding…become tough to reach and test my strength, self-assurance, and ultimately, my faith. But then, I am suddenly reminded of who I am, what is good, and what is true. And that truth is, that God has a perfect plan for my life and He is in control through it all and God is good all the time. Even when it is hard, when I don’t understand, and even when it hurts, His way is best. The valley moments and the storms of life are going to come and knowing that does not make facing them any easier – they still hurt when you are in the midst of them! But, praise God. He is my comfort in all things. He hears the cry of my heart and offers sustaining grace, strength, courage, and a peace that surpasses all understanding. Amid the pain and hurt there is hope and reassurance in an almighty God! “I want settle for the ordinary things, I’m gonna follow Him forever and all of my days!” Even when it hurts, even when it is hard! “I will lift my hands, for you are who you are no matter where I am!”

A Friday High Five

Five things that I’m love’n right now!

1.Paint! Yes I know that may sound a little crazy, but painting a room make it feel like its brand new, like a fresh start is taking place and right now a fresh new start in a fresh new room is what I need.

2.Wii Fit – I know, again crazy…but I love it and it makes me feel so good!!

3.My Friends – I have some of the coolest friends on the planet!

4.Facebook – I may need a little therapy for this addiction, seriously. Hi…my name is Shannon and Im a facebookaholic!

5.Mike’s Margareta’s…yummy…its 5:00 somewhere!!!

Merry Christmas

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…it’s the hap-happiest season of all”. There are just so many things to love about Christmas- decoration strung up everywhere, cards to send, parties to plan and go to, new songs to sing, eggnog, Christmas movies, and family and friends to see.

Even as I sit here and write this, the house is dimly lit with the twinkling of white lights hung on our tree, Christmas carols are playing in the background, packages are wrapped and everyone is full of Christmas cheer. But still there is an even greater joy; a joy that comes in the form of profound celebration, a celebration that encapsulates what Christmas is really about. It’s a time when we can slow down our busy lives and just enjoy a silent night like tonight and remember the beauty of what's behind it all, the birth of Jesus Christ.

It would be very hard to truly enjoy the decorations, the music, the parties, and all that Christmas encompasses without the deep understanding that it is about so much more than those things, without the understanding that it was and is about the most sacrificial love that you can imagine. "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. John 1:14 " What more could he have given than Himself! While you are out enjoying and celebrating the Christmas holidays, remember it is because of His great love for us we have so much to celebrate, not just at Christmas, but everyday!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Lonely in the pursuit...

I was thinking about a conversation that I had with a friend the other day. We were talking about the feeling of loneliness you have sometimes when you are in pursuit of the holiness of God and striving to be more like Him. There is a loneliness that comes when you are on that path, but your friends are not. I have found myself feeling that same way, surround by people (friends) yet feeling so alone or really more heart sick for them that they were just not getting it. I remember thinking, “do they not hear the same thing I’m hearing…how can they not be moved by this…do they not know how important this is…etc”. But, then as I got to thinking more about it I wondered how many times that had been me, surrounded by friends that were getting it and I was the one that was just not in a place to hear, see, and take it in. At least not in a way that was making a difference in me or in my life. But by the grace of God, I had friends and some family that stuck in there and continued to pray for me and take the opportunities that they were give to walk through open doors in our conversations. Over time that stuff starts to sink in. The best thing we can do when we find ourselves waiting on our friends to catch up is continue to be there, pray for them and let God lead you, you will find that He will open doors for you to talk about Him and the things that matter. They may not be moved all at once, or even at a pace you would like, but you will be planting seeds and hopefully they will respond over time. Plus, it allows them to see the change that is taking place in you as well. Above all this, the choice is theirs to make, God is there waiting. I found this verse: Did you become involved in the lives of these for repayment from them or out of obedience to me? Do you love these and look for repayment, or do you love them in obedience to me? “…God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 It is in our obedience to Him, not in our expectation of others, that our friends and families will be blessed. Don’t get discouraged by their lagging, continue to move forward, allowing God to fill you up. When you are full of Him, it spills over...